Aaron’s Favourite Bond Movies :
There once lived a farmer called Aaron…Aaron had a watermelon plantation…Everyday, Aaron would go to his farm to collect watermelons…One day he came across a very unique watermelon…This watermelon was somehow growing the form of a human being…Amazed by it, Aaron did not pluck the fruit…Instead he went home and called his wife Maria and his son Kinky to come and look at the fruit…They were very amazed with the sized and shape of the fruit…Aaron and his wife decided to remove the plant and take it back home…So they used a showel and digged the fruit out carefully…They tend loaded it into Aaron’s cart…Aaron was a very poor man…He didn’t have a car or pick up truck…All he had was a cart and his trusty ass called Keat…Everyweek, Aaron and Keat would go to town to sell the watermelons…Aaron didnt make much money but it was enough to support the family…Now the watermelon was taken home and kept in a special shed built by Aaron…Aaron and his family bacame very attached to the watermelon…They became so attached to it that they named it Helen after Aaron’s great grandmother…
Every year, the town had a special festival where the farmer with the most unique fruit would win a price of 1000 dollars and a year’s supply of fertilizer…Aaron has never won in that competition and has never taken part in it…But this time, Kinky insisted that Aaron joined the competition…And Aaron did so…This had shocked the entire town as it was the first time Aaron was taking part in the conversation…And this had also caused worrieness among the other competitors…Defending champion and 3 times champion, Joanne was the one most surprised…She knew something was wrong…So she told her husband Jon and her 2 sons Kim and Chun to go see wat plant was aaron going to use in the competition…Meanwhile another suspicious competitor was Eric and Syaza…The 2 of them were running the Victoria plantations and were also surprised with the entry…BUt they had plans to sabotage the plant…Eric and Syaza were not only farmers, they were also sciencetists…And they had somehow genetically created a bee called saw to go and destroy wat ever plants they had…And so they sent saw into the farm…However saw was never tested before since its creation…instead of killing the plants, saw turned its back on its creator eric and killed him…it did not kill syaza however…saw then flew away into a hive and became a mating queen bee…but thats another story…anyways, with the death of eric syaza pulled out of competition…meanwhile kim,jon and chun were trying to find the plant…they went to aaron’s place…they looked inside the shed and saw nothing accept for a human figure standing…the kept looking but found nothing…and they returned home…a dissapointed joanne was so mad as them that she punished them by not giving them food for a whole month…a month later, they too died…and a desperate joanne commited suicide…no one was left in the competition accept for aaron…
On the day of the competition aaron brought the fruit towards judge hiu…Judge hiu was a very honest judge but can be bribed easily if u had good looks…and in fact aaron did have good looks so the judge made sure aaron won without even looking at the fruit…and when aaron and his family returned home with the prize, they were shocked to see a woman standing next to the watermelon…it was helen…she had came out of the watermelon…she thanked aaron for taking care of her…she gave aaron and his family 3 wishes…aaron wished he had 2 assess…and he got 2…his wifed wished for a washing machine and she got it…And kinky wished she could be able to change gender anytime she wanted to and she got it…and Helen then left the village and went underground into somewhere…and they all lived happily ever after…
THE END…
(i know it’s super lame but i was doing it as a suggestion from a friend)
Match Report :
Manchester United beat Arsenal 2-0 in a rather heart pounding excotong match…If you asked me, the score could have been 5-1…But still 2-0 is ok…I gusess i should not be very proud of Arsenal from now on…We should concentrate more on the champions league…
It was a last minute decission for us to go and watch the match…I somehow was able to convince Syaza, Bee Bee and of course not forgetting Hiu Li to join me in watching the match…The mamak stalls were super crowded…I’m pretty sure there were close to at least 500 people…Still we got a good place…Sat down, drank and ate and watch Manchester United give hell to Arsenal…
Now comes to the sad part…I lost bets…Eric gets his balls back…Kajon gets a free lunch on me…Wei Keat gets dinner…Hiu Li gets free beer which i would have still given to her even if Arsenal won…Syaza loses her Starbucks…Bee Bee can laugh at me more…Virginia can start praying for miracles in Chelsea…And lastly, Miss Joanne Soo doesn’t get a free movie…
Peolpe who won can start collecting their prizes from now…
Thank you…
Fantastic…The storyline was great…A good boost for director Spike Lee…Cliwe Oven was the best if u asked me…Denzel was ok…Willem Dafoe and Christopher Plummer were good too…But i somehow felt Jodie Foster’s performance wasnt that fantastic…i mean anyone could have played that role…
i liked the cinematography…the way the camera focusses on the robbery was great…and i was shocked to hear a hindi song in the start of the film…the film does have some good values in it…and yes it definately makes u think…it’s definately worth a watch…one of these bank robbery films ive ever seen…
10 out of 10…
I wasn’t really supposed to go for this event…I thought it was gonna be boring…Then Joanne and Temme said they were going…So i thought why not i go too…after all its only 10bucks…ok…so i went…i wore my kurta and jeans and left for the event…met joanne and temme and the rest of musa people in their office…then we all go…as usual auntie jo made me walk 360 degrees just to go to MPH…i guess this term of girls having a bad sense of direction just make sense…anyways…i went in…got the goodie bag and chicken sandwiches and a very weird drink…green tea with soya bean…and the sandwiches were too small…and the goodie bag had lots of goodies but i guess they were more suitable for me grandpa…
sat in the middle by myself first as jo was with the commitee…but i think i had the best seat to view girls…there so many hot girls that night…most dressed to kill…some dared to go bareback…woohoo…and the show started with a few speeches…blablabla…then the performances…there were different types of performances…from guitars to traditional chinese instruments to singing and erotic dances and also a total mess up by one of the perfomers…i guess the worst performance was by the chinese girl who tried to sing…she was just off tune…in the words of simon cowell,"what the hell was that?!"…my personal favourite was the rapping by the 2 ghanians..and there was a performance which definately shocked me and joanne…it was a performance by School Of Arts student Divya Menon which was simply so erotic…i mean it was hot and nice but just too erotic…i didnt expect that from her…the rest of the event went smoothly…the fashion show was good and exciting too…and after that the show came to end…and we all go home…
THE END
Aaron : Welcome back to who wants to be a millionaire…sorry for the delay…Anyways here is the question for the next contestant to have a chance to win a million bucks…Rearrange the following alphabets to form a word…
A) K
B) F
C) C
D) U
Aaron : Everyone finished?…Ok lets see the answer…It’s B,D,C,A…let’s see who got it right…ok looks like it’s puchong boy’s lucky day…come on over chun hor…
Chun Hor : Wow…I made it…
Aaron: So chun hor…im pretty sure u know the rules so shall we begin?
Chun Hor : Ok…
Aaron : Ok then…for 100 bucks which of the following is not a living object…
A) Dog
B) Car
C) Table
D) Dice
Chun Hor : The answer is A
Aaron : You got a 100 bucks…now for 200 bucks…who made the telephone?
A) John Mayor
B) Louis Armstrong
C) Alexander Graham Bell
D) James Bond
Chun Hor : C la…
Aaron : U got 200 bucks…300 dollars is yours if u get this right…What is the national flower of Malaysia?
A) Rose
B) Hibiscus
C) Cactus
D) Daisy
Chun Hor : Obviously its B…
Aaron : And obviously u got 300 bucks…now its time for 500 bucks…Who was the winner of the first American Idol?
A) Dan Brown
B) Carrie Underwood
C) Felicity Hoffman
D) Kelly Clarkson
Chun Hor : D la…
Aaron : U got 500 bucks…Now for 1000 dollar…u ready?…What is the largest country in
Asia ?
A)
Indonesia
B)
China
C)
India
D)
Singapore
Chun Hor : B for
China …
Aaron : yes u got 1000 bucks and still have all 3 lifelines…next question for 2000 bucks…Who directed the film
Brokeback Mountain ?
A) Steven Speilberg
B) Paul Haggis
C) Ang Lee
D) John Lee
Chun Hor : Its C for Ang Lee…
Aaron : Ok u got 2000 bucks…4000 buck question…Which country won the world cup in 1986?
A)
Argentina
B)
Brazil
C)
Germany
D)
Italy
Chun Hor : A for
Argentina
Aaron : Wow…you just won 4000 bucks…Now for 8000 bucks…Who won the first ever Malaysian Formula 1 GP?
A) Mika Hakinen
B) Micheal Schumacher
C) Eddie Irvine
D) David Coulthard
Chun Hor : Hey im a f1 fan…the answer is definitely c
Aaron : U are right!!!…ladies and gentleman…chunhor has just won 8000 bucks…now we gonna look at 16000 bucks question…Which film won the best picture Oscar in 1969?
A) The Graduate
B) Gone With The Wind
C) The Godfather
D) Midnight Cowboy
Chun Hor : I really don’t know…I want to slap the host….
Aaron : Ok Chun hor…u can slap me
“Chun Hor gets up and slaps aaron”
Aaron : Ok change of question…Which of the following actors won an Oscar for best director?
A) Mel Gibson
B) Tom Hanks
C) Dustin Hoffman
D) Robert De Nero
Chun Hor : I don’t this also…I want to call a friend…I want to call Kim…
Aaron : Ok…Hello Kim?
Kim : Yes Kim here…who are u?
Aaron : Im aaron from who wants to be a millionare…chun hor needs
ur help so help him…
Kim : Wat?!
Chun Hor : Hey Kim…Which actor got win oscar?mel Gibson…tom hanks…dustin hoffman or Robert de nero?
Kim : All also got win Oscars wat…
Chun Hor : I mean best director
Kim : I think Mel Gibson…
Chun Hor : How sure are u?
Kim : Err…10 %…
Chun Hor : wat ?!…..hello……………hello…………
Aaron : Times up chun hor!!!…so wats
ur answer gonna be?
Chun Hor : I want 50:50
Aaron : Ok u are now left with A and C…
Chun Hor : Im still not sure…I think I wanna stop here…
Aaron : A wise move…Ok ladies and gentleman Chun Hor is stopping here but his walking away home with 8000 bucks!!!…The highest so far…Ok Chun Hor wat would have been
ur answer?
Chun Hor : I would have picked A for mel Gibson…
Aaron : well if u did so u could have doubled
ur cash to 16000 bucks cos that was the right answer…anyways…mel Gibson won the award for best director for the film Braveheart in 1995…
Chun Hor : Oh ok…
Aaron : and so it looks like its time for another contestant…here’s the question…arrange the paper sizes from the smallest to biggest
A) A4
B) A3
C) A2
D) A1
Aaron : Finished?…The answer is A,B,C,D…lets see who got it right…its Virginia…
Virginia : Points middle fingers…
Aaron : Ok vir shall we look at first question…Which is a girl?
A) Robert Pires
B) Frank Lampard
C) David Beckham
D) Maria Sharapoa
Vir : “points finger to D”
Aaron : Correct…next question…Which of the following football teams have never won a world cup?
A)
Brazil
B)
France
C)
England
D)
Scotland
Vir : “Points at C”
Aaron : U sure?
Vir : “keeps pointing at C”
Aaron : Its wrong…The answer is D…
“
Virginia gets up and starts poking the host…security comes and takes her away”
Aaron : Ladies and gentleman…we will be back after the break…I need a doctor now……….
