My Story

Have u ever wanted something so badly that when u get it u realize its just another ordinary stuff???

Have u ever wanted to experience something so badly that u eventually fear of experiencing that experience???

Have u ever wished for something so badly that in the end it u finally give up and wish for something else???

I dont know about u guys but i usually think about all this stuff…In fact i think some of it has actually played a role in creating the person i am today…

This seems to affect me mostly in relationships…As u all know, i have never had any relationships before…But lately, when i want to start a relationship with someone, as in just a simple conversation or a smile, a million thoughts run through my head…It’s like i want to talk to the person so badly that i dont know wat to say or do to her…And after all this while, im beginning to fear on the type of person i would become to the extent that i want to have a relationship so badly till im actually afraid of starting a relationship…

U guys get what im trying to say here???…Its nothing to hide…I want that person so badly till the extent i become afraid of knowing the person…I dont know…Some people may just have the gift…But i know a few of my friends who share this same feeling with me…U become afraid of getting the particular person thinking if its the right one or not…

Its like buying a shirt…I dont know about u guys…But im one real irritating shopper…I will try on 5 shirts just to buy 1 and in the end still not be happy with it unlike most of u guys…i dont know if this is the feminine side of me or wat but i am just that way…

And speaking of the feminine side of me, lately i discovered im becoming a very emotional person…I have tears flowing down my eyes watching movies…I feel sad when my friends dont do well in their exams…I feel sad when i see emotional stuff…hell i cried watching arsenal lose to barcelona and when my i realize my mechanical pensil broke…

wats wrong with me???

A friend of mine once told me that its alright to have a feminine side…And it didnt only start here…It goes way back to primary school…I was called all kinds of stuff then and still called the same things now…I remember crying when my friend threw my water bottle away although it was only a normal 500ml coke bottle….

and my brother is a totally different person…he’s more man than me…he’s braver…more confident…more stylistic…more trendy…but im still better looking than him…

The bottom line is that i think too much…if i want to do something i should just do it…if i want to become an underwear model i should just do it…if i want to be start a realationship with someone i should just do it…if i want to scream i should just scream…

But i still keep thinking more and more and more………………………………..

HELP ME…

The end…

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 7th, 2006 at 7:34 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.